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So i went to check out a couple of houses and a condo for sale in chesterfield today... The condo was reallllly cute. Adorable, even. And in my price range, which is even nicer. So tomorrow iapos;ll do some research and perhaps later in the week iapos;ll adventure forth with an offer? weapos;ll see.

and iapos;m in a relationship with a great guy. Not that anyone cares, really, besides me. Things have been going really well. Yet i feel like for the last three weeks iapos;ve been nothing but disappointed. I feel like iapos;m giving and giving and giving and praying and iapos;m the only one who cares. Iapos;m beginning to wonder if itapos;s even worth it, really. Although i absolutely detest being alone, i almost feel like itapos;d be easier at this point to be by myself.

i just want someone in my life thatapos;s excited because iapos;m excited. That might be a lil bit excited that iapos;m trying to move forward in my life, to get things straight, to finally get things right... Not just excited to go watch football and get drunk with his friends and ignore me, inadvertently or not...

weapos;ll see i suppose.

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So.. The last week has gone well if i was talking about sticking under my 500 cal intake and really badly on the whole loosing weight side.
Next week itapos;s continuing with my bootcamp diet and i have to burn off all of the calories and start loosing fast like i was towards the start of my more�regimed restricting. Iapos;m fed up with feeling like crap and it taking so long to get to my goal weights so iapos;m gonna make myself get there faster

Auraya xxx

P.S - Does anybody know if you gain weight on anti depressants?

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On October 9th my sister and I take a really late flight unto Phoenix. My brother picked us up at the airport and we spent that night with him at his house. Friday morning, the 10th, we left early and Chris drove us all down to Tucson. We had an 11 oapos;clock appointment to get our pictures taken at Sears. We got the first professional portraits the three of us have had taken together since we were very very young children (besides pictures from my wedding). We had one printed on site and ordered the rest since the quality is better when they are shipped in from the photo lab. We ran out and got a frame for the 8x10 we had them print on site. Then we went to Famous Daves where my brother had arranged to meet my mom for lunch. She had no idea Steph and I had come into town. It was her 60th birthday and we surprised her. It was really great She was so shocked. And she absolutely adores the picture we had taken for her. We spent the weekend there with her and then Sunday the 12th Steph and I caught a late flight back to St Louis. Steph spent the night with us and then left early for her drive back to Illinois the next morning. I brought back a book for Cole: The Seed and the Giant Saguaro. And I got John an In-N-Out Burger t-shirt. I called him when we were eating there to gloat It was a whirlwind trip, but definitely one worth mentioning here :)

In other news, I had another ultrasound on Wednesday the 15th of October. Normally I wouldnapos;t have had another, but because I have placenta previa they are doing them routinely now until it moves away from my cervix - which theyapos;re pretty sure it will since itapos;s a posterior partial previa. Most of the time partial previas shift as the baby gets bigger and the uterus gets bigger to accommodate. Well this time there it was still there, still covering part of my cervix. But the good news is I get another ultrasound in a month :) And sheapos;s still a girl Yay

John got a lot of work done on the new house while I was away in Arizona. This weekend weapos;re getting our bedroom painted and that should be the last hurdle before weapos;re ready to really move ourselves in. John took Monday off work and weapos;re hoping to get the rest of our stuff moved there then so we will officially be living in our new house.
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So Iapos;ve been SUPER into baking lately, and Iapos;ve decided that I need more supplies. I have things like a few mixings bowls, measuring cups, cupcake and muffin tins, food coloring, a cookie sheet and a pie tin.

1. What else do I need? I know I need a handheld mixer (I might swipe my momapos;s KitchenAid, but I donapos;t have a lot of counter space) and I want a few loaf pans- but what else?

2. I was thinking of going to Target. Bloomingdales had nice stuff but it was WAY too upscale for my beginnerapos;s needs. Where else would you recommend? We donapos;t have Wal-Mart.
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Wanda sighed as she gazed across the table at her date. He was telling a story, but she wasnapos;t listening. Her attention was focused on the rippling muscles of his chest which were exposed whenever his shirt ripped itself off. She sighed again as his shirt magically reappeared on his chest.

"Oh, Juandissimo," she said dreamily.

Juandissimo flashed her a toothy, sparkling grin, then disappeared.

Wanda frowned. "Juandissimo?" she called, looking around frantically. She was so busy searching for his sculpted six pack and dazzling smile that she didnapos;t notice her surroundings had completely changed.

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FRAGILE.
one thing that breaks me the most: when i lost something that once used to be my pillar of hope and strength,shoulder to lean on, zone of comfort.
these days im just telling myself that i gotta be STRONG, like how i used to be, not letting anyone pull me down.
as strange as it seems,im surrounded by many people but im still lonely.
i wish i could get back what ive lost in the past.
i know if u were still here by my side, u wont let me feel this way.
but ohwells. I guess ive made a big mistake to let u go my dear friend. One thing for sure, iapos;ve nvr knew things would turn out in this direction.


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Okay, so Iapos;m watching the 2000 version of Jesus Christ Superstar....

I�want to know, I�want to know, my Lord...why the fuck they did this....

Jesus canapos;t sing. Heapos;s British. Judas is Irish and wearing a leather jacket, acting like a villain. I�swear to god, these words escaped his lips "There he is. Theyapos;re asleep. THE�FOOLS" All that was needed was evil laughter�I�swear to god the 1970 something version hit it on the head. Judas just wanted to protect Jesus because he was mancrushing on him. Thatapos;s all. In this one thereapos;s a mancrush, but oh god, that kiss on the cheek was like three seconds long. That was like a cheek makeout....

Why is Simon a warmongering white gay boy? dear god...

Everyone should watch this fuck sing Gethsemene...he sucks so hard. Like he sucked, there was a cumshot, and now heapos;s drenched. In Judasapos; HOT�MANJUICES.

...WHY? Iapos;m putting on my own production of this. With blackjack. And hookers. Wait...this already has hookers. And rappers and metros. Dear god, this is like a battle of the fads with a british dude playing lead. **punches self in the mancunt for ever youtubing this**

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Itapos;s been a very very interesting few months.

to you: howapos;s england? please update. I miss your thoughts.

iapos;ve found happiness in my life. Almost final, but happening all at once. I canapos;t wait until itapos;s finally here. I havenapos;t had a feeling like this in so long. Thank you thank you thank you.


michigan in two days. Iapos;m excited to get away, i think. I have something burning inside of me that i donapos;t want to leave behind for 4 days, but absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

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sophie is wonderful and oh so lovable.

possibly austin in july? visit or permanent, i need to go for myself.



iapos;m just happy. Thereapos;s no other way to explain it. I canapos;t complain about life right now.

SBLLC <3

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Some of you have likely been getting spam for a Ryanapos;s Pharmacy in Henderson, Nevada falling into your email.

I just phoned them this afternoon, and spoke with a woman, just asking whatapos;s going on - and come to find out that they have, in effect, gotten "Joe Jobbed" - basically, soembody is spamming for them, in their name, without their authorization. (Originally, the term referred to the use of a live email address belonging to somebody in the headers of the spam, to divert the attention away from the spammer.)

At any rate, they seem to be victims of stupidity. Donapos;t call them if youapos;re asking about the spam.

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